The Dong is meant to be this big


So they're finally here, performing for you If you know the words, you can join in too Put your hands together, if you want to clap As we take you through this monkey rap

DK Donkey Kong

He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well He's finally back to kick some tail His coconut gun can fire in spurts If he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt He's bigger, faster, and stronger too He's the first member of the DK crew

DK, Donkey Kong, DK, Donkey Kong is here

This Kong's got style, so listen up dudes She can shrink in size, to suit her mood She's quick and nimble when she needs to be She can float through the air and climb up trees If you choose her, you'll not choose wrong With a skip and a hop, she's one cool Kong

DK Donkey Kong

He has no style, he has no grace This Kong has a funny face He can handstand when he needs to And stretch his arms out, just for you Inflate himself just like a balloon This crazy Kong just digs this tune

DK, Donkey Kong, DK, Donkey Kong is here

He's back again and about time too And this time he's in the mood He can fly real high with his jetpack on With his pistols out, he's one tough Kong He'll make you smile when he plays his tune But Kremlings beware cause he's after you

DK, Donkey Kong

Finally, he's here for you It's the last member of the DK crew This Kong's so strong, it isn't funny Can make a Kremling cry out for mummy. Can pick up a boulder with relative ease Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze He may move slow, he can't jump high But this Kong's one hell of a guy

C'mon Cranky, take it to the fridge!

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells, Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells, (repeat)

Powers and Expansion's

Tier: Expanded tier

Name: DK

Origin: Heaven

Gender: Dong

Age: 27

Classification: Kong, Professional singer and Dong expander

Powers and Abilities: Faster, bigger and stronger too, his coconut gun can fire in spurts if he shoots ya it's gonna hurt, Dong manipulation, immortality (type 8).

Attack Potency: Gurren Lagann verse x5000 (His Dong pierced every heaven in every dimension)

SpeedYou can't escape from the coconut cream pies, since he will shower you

Lifting Strength: Hairy arms, can lift steel dongs 

Striking Strength: At least Multi-universal (punched a moon from orbit, his dong can reach other universes and hit them)

Durability: Dong will expand regardless of resistance+

Stamina: Irrelevant

Range: 8th wall You can feel his Dong

Standard Equipment: Bongo drums, Coconut gun, Red tie, spare Dongs.(Usually 8)

Intelligence: Omniscience

Weaknesses: When the Dong doesn't expand, This does not expand dong memes, and if that happens he becomes and absolute zero

Notable Attacks and Reality expansions


"Assuming direct control of this form"

Dong Cena: The Dong can tap into his inner wrestler powers, said to put him on same level as said wrestler 


Coconut gun: Fires in spurts, it's gonna hurt

Shower you in coconut cream pie:



Pie ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)