| “ | For a time... I considered sparing your wretched little game developers, but now...you shall witness...their dismemberment! | „ |
| ~ Unicronic Arts |
Summary[]
EA is a video game company founded in 1982. The company was a pioneer of the early home computer games industry and was notable for promoting the designers and programmers responsible for its games. Oh, how the mighty have fallen...
Although in the past serving as a legitimately innovative and even groundbreaking corporation, EA, like many of it's corporate ilk, have doubled down on the absolute sleaziest, most despicable ways to squeeze as much profit as possible from it's players and indeed, due to it's recent actions may have very well become one of the worst companies in the business, only second to the likes of Activision and Konami.
Powers and stats[]
Tier: $$$
Name: EA, Electronic Arts, Unicronic Arts
Origin: Some greedy asshole 60 years olds (current incarnation)
Gender: N/A
Age: 39
Classification: Video game publisher, scum of the Earth
Powers and abilities: Technopathy, Limited Information Manipulation (Tries to get it's shit games less flack than they deserve), Money Manipulation, Limited Emotion Manipulation (Minor control over intense rage of fans, mostly in the causing of it), Death Manipulation (By killing any of it's various studios), Corruption (Can turn even good devs into money-grubbing goblins), Existence Negation/Erasure (Can cancel games), Reality Warping (Can heavily ruin change games on a whim based on their "expectations")
Attack Potency: $$$ Level (Can strike down any creative thought, can kill numerous studios without breaking a sweat and can easily fuck over games and their developers)
Speed: Sub-Human, likely lower (Can barely react to all the controversy surrounding it's bullshit actions, can't even change it's pathetic practices over time without getting slapped in the face), at least $$$ Level with micro-transactions (Can instantaneously burden any game with them)
Lifting Strength: Class $$$ (Can easily push out all logic and creative thought from it's games, can lift fee-2-pay ideas into the next millennium if given the chance)
Striking Strength: $$$ Class (Can easily strike down any attempts at innovation proposed by the few good people left in it, casually consumes developers of this caliber on a semi-regular basis)
Durability: $$$ Level (Can miraculously survive massive assaults by the media and fans during it's numerous fuck-ups, including such disasters as Battlefront 2, SimCity 2013 and Dead Space 3)
Stamina: High (Can keep up their wretched dealings for a long time without being rightfully smacked by the community)
Range: Extended international range
Standard equipment: Army of man-slaves and zombified fans, their theme song
Intelligence: Dumb as bricks normally, at least Genius when figuring out new ways to scam people
Weaknesses: Being called out, having a brain size greater than the average consumer's (way harder than it sounds)
Others[]
Notable Victories:
Visceral Games
Maxis
Mythic Entertainment
Bullfrog Productions
Origin Systems
Westwood Studios
DreamWorks Interactive
Phenomic
Black Box Games
Pandemic
Playfish
NuFX
George Lucas (With the help of Disney)
CrapCom (It wishes it could be as bad as this)
Nofriendo (Again, wishes it could be this bad)
Your Wallet
Notable losses:
Jim Sterling
Star Wars fans
Really anyone with a single brain cell after Battlefront 2
Activision (Losses both in terms of shitiness and worth)
Konami
Masterpiece Optimus Prime (Wishes it could have the worth of that toy)
Inconclusive matches: