Kekekekekeke (Breadverse Unlimited)

Summary
THIS IS KEKEKEKEKEKE™ (keh-keh-keh-keh-keh-keh),  THE OVERLORD OF ABSOLUTELY ALL PAIN™, MISERY™, AND SUFFERING™.

HE IS A DANGER AND THREAT TO ALL LIFE™ ON EARTH™. DO NOT BE DECEIVED BY HIS INNOCENT APPEARANCE. HE IS CAPABLE OF SENDING ALL WHO OPPOSE HIM TO THE DEEPEST, DARKEST DEPTHS OF CREATIVE HELL™.

SOME SAY HE IS SATAN™ INCARNATE, OTHERS SAY HE IS SATAN'S™ RIGHT HAND MAN. WE SHALL NEVER KNOW. BUT IF YOU SEE HIM, PLEASE EXERCISE GREAT CAUTION AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING™. HE DOESN'T FIND PLEASURE IN LOUD NOISES™. LOUD NOISES™ CAUSE A SCARE™. USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, AND YOU MAY ESCAPE WITH YOUR LIFE™.

KEKEKEKEKEKE DWELLS IN HELL™ MOST OF THE TIME BUT SOMETIMES HE'LL COME OUT FOR A LITTLE BIT, ANYWHERE BETWEEN 22.18239082048 SECONDS TO A CUCUMBER™. IT'S SCIENCE™.

SCIENCE™ IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN CONQUER KEKEKEKEKEKE™. USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, AND YOU MAY ESCAPE WITH YOUR LIFE™.

SOME PEOPLE™ THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT KEKEKEKEKEKE™ WITH AN ARCHANGEL™. THIS IS NOT TRUE. IT TAKES THREE DUCKS TO SCREW IN AN EGG™, SO HOW COULD AN ARCHANGEL™ POSSIBLE ACCOMPLISH SUCH A TASK?

DON'T DODGE HIS FIERY ATTACKS™. STAND STILL AND HE'LL THINK YOU ARE DEAD™. USE THIS TO YOU ADVANTAGE, AND YOU MAY ESCAPE WITH YOUR LIFE™.

LOACH™.

UNFORTUNATELY HE IS CURRENTLY CONFINED TO AN EEEVILLLL PENDANT CALLED THE KEKEKE (keh-keh-keh). THE KEKEKE CONTAINS KEKEKEKEKEKE. WHY IS THAT A BAD THING? UHHHHHHHHHHHH BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY GOOD. I WAS LYING. YOU'RE ALL BANKERS.

USE THIS WARNING TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, AND YOU MAY ESCAPE WITH YOUR LIFE™.