Rue vs. Buttercup

Every story has an underdog.

Intro
Wiz: Rue, farmer from District 11.

'''Boomstick: And Buttercup, the Princess Bride. He’s Wiz, and I’m Boomstick.'''

Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, in order to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Rue
Wiz: As a child from District 11, Rue developed considerable skills in the orchards in her home district. Then one day, she was chosen during the reaping at the age of 12 for the 74th Hunger Games along with Thresh, District 11's male tribute.

Wiz: Rue is skilled at climbing, silently navigating trees without being noticed by any unfriendly tributes.

Boomstick: Yep, not even Katniss freaking Everdeen could see her. Best stalker ever!

Wiz: Despite this, she is a horrible fighter, getting trapped in a net and failing to dodge a spear that takes...

Boomstick: Five goddamn seconds? What a pussy.

Wiz: Agreed, but she's also smart enough to survive on her own until Katniss locates her.

Boomstick: But not enough to not believe Miss Everdeen when she promises not to hurt her.

''Come out of there. I won't hurt you.''

Boomstick: I wouldn't fall for that if I was under Wiz's alcohol.

Wiz: What? Rue is also very observant.

Boomstick: But her eye for danger doesn't really make up for her unbearable squeaky voice.

Wiz: Rue is a hand with a slingshot.

Boomstick: She's also an amazing singer and takes joy in it, but I seriously doubt it'll help her in this fight, so let's move on.

Buttercup
''You're afraid. Wesley will come, you miserable worm.''

Wiz: Buttercup, also known as the Princess Bride, started out as a farm girl. She ran her own farm with Wesley who apparently did all the work.

Boomstick: Talk about Stockholm Syndrome.

Wiz: By the time she realized her true feelings for him, it was too late. He had died at sea...

Boomstick: But apparently not, because every movie needs a cheesy plot twist.

Wiz: Buttercup was sought after by the evil Prince Humperdink as she was the most beautiful girl in her kingdom. She thus spends the movie either in the Palace...

Boomstick: Or cowering while her one and only fights R.O.U.S.es.

Wiz: While Buttercup has shown little fighting ability, she does seem effective in putting out fires.

Boomstick: As long as they're on her own dress. That's useful as a fart in a bathtub.

Wiz: She is also savage and unafraid to speak her mind, but her lack of nerve leaves her dumbfounded at certain times. She even tries committing suicide when she thinks Wesley is dead.

Boomstick: But Rue's too sweet to use Wesley against her, even if she could.

If he is not here in the morning, I'm killing myself swiftly.

Interlude
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!

Death Battle
Rue comes up behind Buttercup, who is standing by her barn. Buttercup doesn't notice for the same reason Tributes, even Career Tributes, wouldn't. Rue taps her on the shoulder. Buttercup screams and whirls around.

FIGHT!

Buttercup looks stunned. Rue grabs her leg and yanks, tripping her but also causing her to fall over, becoming entangled in her dress. Buttercup stands up, with effort, but Rue is already dashing around her.

Just then, Prince Humperdink turns up. And I'm not even sure if I spelled that right.

Humperdink: Buttercup! What are you doing?

Before Buttercup can answer, a rock goes flying over the roof, fired via slingshot. It hits Buttercup directly in the head, causing her to fall on top of Humperdink, who suffocates following several minutes of unsuccessful attempts to get her off of him.

K.O.!!

Results
Boomstick: We just set a Death Battle record.

Wiz: Not only did we just do the shortest Death Battle ever, but poor Humperdink got caught in the crossfire.

Boomstick: At least Rue wasted that dasmel in distress. Guess she gets lucky sometimes.

Wiz: The winner is Rue.

Next Time
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!

A black sword of chromium flashes through the air and falls to a bare, beautiful, pristine arm via telekinesis...

Do you agree with the results of Rue vs. Buttercup? Yes No The result was right, the reasoning was not