Paula Deen

=Actual Cannibal Paula Deen=

Summary


The true cannibal from legend, Paula Deen is a relentless cooking expert who is always looking for ways to improve her feindish recipes. She has never been cuaght or seen when the prowl is on, but the her legend is known well and wide; but not even close to being as wide as her endless hunger for fresh children.

They say that every day after thanksgiving she becomes active more than usual, looking to sport herself plump children becouse they taste better or something, i dunno; the point of this page is to prove that she makes her dishes too salty and they taste incredibly bad. more so she was critized for having dishes that were extremely unhealthy.

That's becouse she was serving you children dammit!

Are children when cooked always so salty? idk.

Powers and Stats
Tier: High 9-B

Name: Actual Cannibal Paula Deen

Origin: who cares, nothing i guess.

Gender: yes

Age: irrelivant (existed before the creation of the universe)

Classification: unknown, spawn of evil.

Powers and Abilities: Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Enhanced Sight, Expert in stealth, can induce paranoia and hallucinations, minor reality manipulation, expert cook.

Attack Potency: Wall level+ (tackled a man through a wall, destroying the wall and instantly killing him; this happened in the webcomic anyway)

Speed: At least Subsonic (can steal girlscouts from the girlscout camp without anybody noticing)

Lifting Strength: Superhuman (choked a full grown brown bear with one hand and can pick up obese girlscouts with little to no effort; idk if the bear thing ever happened but she could prob do it anyway so yea)

Striking Strength: Wall class+ (uppercut a man so hard his torso disconnected and landed perfectly in an oven ready for lunch; pretty cool right?)

Durability: Small Building Level+ (was shot point blank by a harpoon gun, set on fire with pitch, had a fishing hut collapse on her; all within the same timeframe or something, and even then she survived but she was probobly close to death or something so whatever)

Stamina: high i think (she is pretty old so i guess she needs a breather sometimes)

Range: yes

Standard Equipment: none notable.

Intelligence: High (managed to outsmart cops and even formulated complex plans to capture fresh children without anyone ever knowing she was there, they do know it was her though becouse cannibalism is pretty gay m8.

Weaknesses: needs to eat children becouse lore m8, like hansel and gretel but actually cool.

Notable Attacks/Techniques: whatever im too lazy to finish this.