Crabwhale (Pre-Ascension)

"Hallooooo Internet and welcome to Behind the Meme."
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- The Un-memer Himself

"Piss off, ya yanker."

- Crabwhale, at some point we're sure.

Summary
A salty n00b who felt VSBW was far too well-behaved and logical for his liking. Also, needed some place to put those damned Minecraf profiles.

Later became a discussion mod because Ryu was running out of active users thought he was just the right guy for the job, so I guess he must be doing something right...

Nah.

Powers and Stats
Tier: Dunno, High 10-B I guess? | At least High Memetic, likely far higher | At least Low Staff Member

Name: Crabbius Crabborson Whaler the IV, the Skeletor Bastard, Crabs, Godzilla 123 (YouTube channel), Awesomecrafter345 (We don't talk about that dark, dark, DARK period in history), Seacreatureamalgamation (by Triple X), real name [ [ REDACTED ] ]

Origin: He-Man (oh and the Real World too I guess)

Gender: Take a guess

Age: Old enough to grow a mustache+

Classification: Skeleton-man, professional retard, Pepsi-enthusiast, Staff member (Wait, what?)

Powers and Abilities: Above average physical characteristics, Above average intelligence (Surprising right?), Very Limited Martial Arts (Does bitch-basic boxing count?) | Profile creation, Edit Manipulation, Photoshop mastery (to a certain extent), Thread Manipulation, Death Manipulation/Thread Decay (Accidentally corrupts every thread he is involved with into a jumble of dead memes and probably just a tad of autistic screeching), Limited Power Bestowal (Has given himself way too many fetishes over the years), Madness Manipulation (It never ends), Existential Mastery (Can devise long paragraphs that question the very nature of life, the Universe and everything), Limited Time Manipulation (Can easily hasten the wasting of his own lifetime by frequenting the Internet), Cringe Mastery, Bump Manipulation, Spam Manipulation (Although he chooses to never use it out of sheer disgust for the concept, he has shown significant mastery of it in the Non-Paradox 3 thread. Was the first to properly diagnose the Spam Virus.), Meme Generation [Like all the others on the Paradox Threads, he is capable of generating a near-endless amount of memes. Memes, in turn, generate an amount of a certain phenomena, depending on the quality of the meme. These phenomena are typically negative (Like cringe, entropy, and disgust), though some are positive (Like laughter, kinship, and similar emotions), and will generate more of that phenomena the longer they are around.], Disease Manipulation (Can cause all sorts of cancer), Mistake Mastery (Made the Paradox thread, created this abomination), Immortality (Type 1 and 8), Creation (Can create his own memes, make profiles and even materialize weaponized cringe), Dimensional Manipulation (Can casually juggle numerous threads at all times), Gay Manipulation (Being a Skeletor should warrant this) | All of the previous abilities to a greater degree (especially Thread related abilities), Void Manipulation (Can delete comments and threads), Reality Manipulation (Can edit comments and threads, can change the layout of the wiki), Admin Manipulation (At least Low level)

Attack Potency: Above Average Human Level...maybe (Is fitter than a lot of people twice his age) | At least High Memetic (Can casually unleash barrages of meme artillery and even create new ones), likely far higher (Is the creator of the Paradox threads, and as such, has given them a sizable portion of their cancerousness) | At least Low Staff Member Level (As a discussion moderator, can technically "ban" people, though only off of chat. And since no one ever frequents chat here...yeah...)

Speed: Average, though he'd like to think he's at least Athletic | At least Gotta Go Fest+ (Reacts regularly to Recent Activity with no difficulty, sharing his gloriously carcinogenic opinion on the majority of threads released since he joined) | At least Recent Activity+ (Already possessed access to this feature, but is now more capable and compelled that ever to use it)

Lifting Strength: Above Average Human [Has deadlifted 100 kg (or 220 lbs for you filthy Yanks)], Peak Human via cheating [Has an estimated max sled leg press of 260 kg (or 570 lbs for you filthy Yanks...again...seriously, learn the goddamn system that everyone else uses already...pricks)} | At least High Memetic (Took Shrek and his swamp and drooped them on a thread), likely far higher (Took an entire thread filled with other beyond memetic users and dropped it in Paradox 6) | At least Class Low Staff (Can take entire threads and move them from board to board)

Striking Strength: Above Average Class I guess | At least High Memetic, likely far higher (His Deviantart artillery can easily achieve this sort of destructive potential) | Unknown

Durability: Above Average (Even as a chubby kid, took footballs to the face with only minimal crying) | At least High Memetic (Easily tanked a full on Meme War with TheDarkSide857), likely far higher (Can look at Deviantart for extremely extended periods of time without even flinching, survived the destruction of JBW...twice...even though it technically never happened...) | At least Low Staff Level (Can battle on par with other mods)

Stamina: The furthest I've tried is 24 hours

Range: Punt range | Wiki range | Extended Wiki range

Standard Equipment: His glasses, his laptop

Intelligence: Mild Genius (Although most of the time a jokester, can turn into a full blown existential nihilist in the right conditions and come up with near impossible logical conundrums just to torture himself), Omniscient via Recent Activity (Knows and sees all)

Weaknesses: Dabbing (will cause him to suffer an aneurysm, among other things), his own brain sometimes, the state of the world (Depresses him beyond his regular depression), can get banned if he's being a naughty boi, his mom telling him to go to sleep, this picture (drives him fucking nuts, thanks Dark, you prick), Kinder chocolate (far too delicious to resist), Pepsi (even though it is basically a reverse-Kryptonite, it can still distract at crucial moments), spending way too fucking long on the Internet damaging his already poor eyesight, Saitama wank (One of the few things guranteed to make him seethe with rage or cringe in disgust every time), cats (their cuteness can warm even his long-dead soul), Crabusewhoob (I fear no man...But that thing...it scares me...)

Notable attacks/techniques:


 * Swearing: His most often used technique and certainly his most versatile. Can be used in anything: from roasts to comedy to serious issues, it's express purpose is to emphasize something.


 * Sarcasm: A technique similar to swearing, and sometimes even a subset of it, it is almost exclusively used for mocking what he deems is wrong, nonsensical or just plain stupid.


 * Meme Release (ミーム遁, English: I don't speak native Weaboo): A versatile art that, as the powers and abilities section explained, can cause a wide range of effects, from weakening or strengthening the opponent or caster based on their type, to causing monstrous amounts of envriomental damage and bypassing durability.


 * DA-C69: Thousands of cringual INBM warheads ready to be deployed at anytime from his Deviantart account.


 * Photoshop: Possibly his most powerful tool. Used correctly, it can end entire arguments with no resistance or even create new memes out of the corpses of old.


 * OVO: Although he has never used it (and doesn't intend to), after witnessing others use it and studying it for several weeks (read: looking at the profile a few times), he should be more than capable of utilizing OVO. However, the degree of his mastery will likely remain unknown for the foreseeable future.

O O                                             ' ___


 * A technique stemming from a self-taught and self-made meme-tial art that he developed after studying the OVO. His most powerful attack, so powerful in fact that even Bold lettering or Bulleted lists cannot contain it. Designed as a rival to the fully powered  OVO , it is far less versatile, though possesses greater impact and destructive potential.

Key: Outside of the Wiki/IRL | Inside the Wiki | Discussion Mod

Gallery
















Others
Notable Victories:

TheDarkSide857 (Actually got him to stop posting memes for two seconds)

Seol404 (Grossed her the Hell out with help from Yellow)

Anaconda999 (Similarly to Soel, many times, though not quite to the same extent)

ScrewAttack Superman (ScrewAttack) Superman's profile

Notable Losses:

Inconclusive Matches:

Seol404 with admin powersz (Although she can ban his ass whenever she feels like it now, he can still distract her with memes)

Yellowpig10 (Both were undeterred in the slightest by each-other's Deviantart cringe artillery)

T H O T S L A Y E R (Were involved in a complex existential debate that shook the thread and made it nearly unreadable, but that went absolutely fucking nowhere, so nevermind) [[Category:HIGH MEMETIC TIER++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++]]