Dragon Ball REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEvolution

Summary Yeah, fuck no, I ain't gracing this thing with a fucking summary
Actually, you know what? Fine. I'll deliver a fucking summary alright. A summary of just how fucking asinine it was for anyone to greenlight this.

No, hear me out, I know this thing has been beaten to death, and I know I'm hoping on a bandwagon that's already been thrown off it's tracks, but seriously. It's this abomination's 10 year anniversary this year. TEN.FUCKING.YEARS. I've been having to put up with his burning feeling to rip this worthless thing a new asshole, and today is the day I do it.

WHAT.THE.HELL.HAPPENED. Who could've fucked up so badly as to make this worthless piece of shit. No seriously, did anyone, fucking anyone even glance at the manga or the anime, or Hell, even a piece of merch? This isn't even in the same dimension as the series. IT'S LIKE AS IF SOMEBODY PUT THE FUCKING SHOW IN TH WARP FROM 40K AND WAITED TO SEE HOW BADLY THE DAEMONS COULD FUCK IT UP!

No, actually, scratch that, even the most horrific of Tzeentch's plots could not sink so low as to create this pathetic perversion of cinema. It is putrid, it is filth, it highlights and embodies every last problem with Hollywood's greedy, manipulative, conniving side and easily ruins nearly every live-action anime that follows on principle alone.

And the worst thing by far is that some people actually don't mind this film. Hell, some critics have actively RECOMMENDED IT to new fans of the franchise. I am sorry, what the fuck are you smoking? Give me some, and preferably eat a lit dynamite stick.

I cannot physically, mentally or emotionally comprehend how any sane human being could be capable of tolerating this "film". Hell, it doesn't even deserve to be put in quotations, it is so far removed from the concept of quality that merely mentioning it in the same genre as something like "Rocky", or even "Transformers 4: Explosion of the Boobs" tastes insulting. Yes, it tastes insulting, it's so putrid it goes beyond the mere sense of feeling.

In fact, I think describing this unholy matrimony requires a word beyond what the English language can provide, beyond even what any Earthly language can provide. It is a sin against humanity, a sin so great I am genuinely shocked that the makers of this monster were not put on trial in the Hague for crimes against humanity.

Other
Notable Losses:

Anger

Hatred

Everything

Fuck you