Xshia'zea'sh'kaebt-Lea'yi'elih-zael'va'tielih-ng'yehaer'llw'aetaght'litagehph-Ht'uim'aeng'ytagyeh Taght'ehshht'yng'yng'gl-tagr'laeph'ehts'liht'ehct'r'lling



"This is so sad. Alaska play desk poor cheeto"

~Him, in response to virtually any situation

Summary
Once upon a time, I was me.

Powers and Stats
Tier: At least 10-C, possibly 10-B | At least High Memetic, likely far higher. Higher with time

Name: Xshia'zea'sh'kaebt-Lea'yi'elih-zael'va'tielih-ng'yehaer'llw'aetaght'litagehph-Ht'uim'aeng'ytagyeh Taght'ehshht'yng'yng'gl-tagr'laeph'ehts'liht'ehct'r'lling, "Triple X" by Crabwhale (A weird choice, as his name contains only 1 X in it), "Waste of Life" by all family members, "Mistake" by people who pass him by on the street, T H O T S L A Y E R (His second name, as part of the house of T H O T S L A Y I N G), T H O T H S L A Y E R (By Orror), T S by MaxForward

Origin: His mother's vagina (Yes, I regret this)

Gender: Inapplicable, referred to as male

Age: 31.9 Cycles (Y E S years old)

Classification: Mistake, Failure, Eldritch Abomination, Creator of shit JBW pages, T H O T S L A Y E R (Inherited the title from his Four Fathers no homo)

Powers and Abilities: Yes Physical Characteristics | Non-Corporeal and Nonexistent Physiology (Complete), Immortality (Type 40), Mistake Manipulation (Casually created these pages. Has introduced this wiki to multiple Alux videos), Regeneration (True-Failure. Regenerated from his parent's disappointment), Conceptual Manipulation (Made some fucking dreadful ideas for his profiles), Gay Manipulation (Passively made Uselessnoob's comment gay with one of his profiles), Creation (Made countless shitty and meaningless profiles, including an infinitely weaker version of The Gulag), Disease Manipulation (His mere existence caused this otherwise respectable thread to devolve into cancer, spawning off three more strains that ravaged the wiki afterwards), Virginity Manipulation (Beings that interact with him steadily reacquire their virginity, and their romantic partners leave them. Even beings that are already virgins become even bigger virgins), Cringe Manipulation (His power in this regard is such that any interaction between him and Crabwhale can be considered a cringe war), Buzzfeed Manipulation (Is considered the foremost master of Buzzfeed, and has been shown to be able to generate it at will) Dab Manipulation (Created the page, and once dabbed so hard that he fell off a chair and hurt his dick), Dimensional Manipulation (Able to casually rip memes from different tabs and pull them to the Paradox threads with little effort), High Resistance to Deviantart, Meme, Reverse Card, Edgy (Has fought multiple times against entities who frequently use abilities of this nature) and Buzzfeed (Has watched several Buzzfeed videos multiple times over without flinching), Void Manipulation (Hakai'd a thread), Summoning (Able to summon various S W O L E or L O N G animals to assist him in battle)

Attack Potency: At least Below average human level, possibly Average Human Level (I'm a human, but I have no feats, so yeah) | At least High Memetic, likely far higher (Should be comparable to Pre-Discussion Moderator Crabwhale, albeit slightly weaker. Responsible for the initial outbreak of cancer that eventually became the paradox threads, and later propagated it, though to a lesser degree than others). Unknown with Alux Videos (Made Crabwhale go numb with one of the videos), can bypass conventional durability and Gay shields by saying "Your're home of secular". 

Speed: Unknown (Apparently my friends say I'm an absurdly fast walker) | Z O O M S P E E D (Is a quick boi. Can make it through all the Paradox Threads really quickly)

Lifting strength not included because who the fuck cares 

Striking Strength: This is literally just AP but with fists 

Durability: This is just his AP but reversed (Comparable to Crabwhale, Who endured the destruction of JBW twice) 

Stamina: Pathetic (Impossible to judge as I have yet to push myself, but I can walk pretty far)

Range: Nobody ever sets distance, so it doesn't matter 

Standard Equipment: What the fuck would he have, he's an eldritch boi 

Intelligence: Smart boi (Was involved in a complex existential debate with Crabwhale for a time, until they both tired of such a child's farce, and moved onto more pointless important things.) 

Weaknesses: No combat ability or experience. Complete fucking wimp. Really doesn't care if his opponent wounds or kills him. Indifferent. The One Above All (Just like my Manos) 

Notable Attacks/Techniques: 
 * Dabberoni: T H O T S L A Y E R hits a dab, the likes of which cannot be recreated in three-dimensional measurements or geometry, so intense that he nearly touches the floor with it's power.
 * Buzzfeed: T H O T S L A Y E R invokes an awful Buzzfeed video that instils disgust and the belief that humanity has fucked up in his victims, such that even Seol404 was affected by it

Key: Real World | On JBW 
 * Odd gift of Ying: An unusual talent that is distorted and abandoned by this world. This ability is an anomalous phenomenon that cannot be explained. Therefore, only a handful of people are endowed with this attribute. In general, it is similar to the poison that contaminated the East and those who are touched by these shadows are subjects of fear and disgust.
 * Animals: T H O T S L A Y E R invokes a picture of an animal that is either S W O L E or L O N G to assist him in battle. The immeasurable girth/stature of these creatures can be enough to leave his opponent in awe at the sheer size of such beasts, leaving them open.

Other Shit
Notable Victories:

TheDarkSide857 (For a long time, the battle was left undecided, but in the rematch of the century, long names were proven to be superior to edginess)

Thoth (Ancient Egyptian Deity. Orror keeps saying I've slain him, apparently)

Notable Losses:

Maxforward (Here. Did not even try to resist, and just let it happen)

Crabwhale (Here. After a very one-sided battle, Crabwhale triumphed and became the ultimate winner of Not-Paradox 4. However, Crabs acknowledged that T H O T S L A Y E R's memes were worse)

Inconclusive Matches:

Orror SANESS(He Hakai'd the discussion, leaving it without a true victor) Orror's Profile or maybe not, he's got two

Yellowpig10 (Here. Their mutual resistance was too high, meaning that neither could win)